![]() ![]() In addition, try recreating the initial event. You can try reaching out to spend time together, even if you feel embarrassed. Build New Positive MemoriesĪfter you distract someone from the negative aspects of the memory, build new positive memories. If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. For instance, you might remind them of someone else's more influential speech or one of your favorite foods on the snack table. For example, if you accidentally made an embarrassing speech at a party due to drinking and your friend keeps bringing it up, you could tell them about all the aspects you enjoyed about the party. Try to help the individual associate the memory with those aspects. ![]() In some cases, you might find that analyzing the situation leaves you with a few positive aspects of the memory. Remind Them Of A Positive Part Of The Memory Avoid these sensory flags until the novelty of the event has worn off. Perhaps they remember the perfume you wore, the color of your clothes, or the specific hat you wore. People often hold onto memories of senses when adverse events occur. Reduce Stimuli That Remind You Of The OccurrenceĪs with evading positive memories, you may facilitate forgetting an adverse memory by removing objects or stimuli that remind others of what occurred. Below are a few other tips for erasing negative memories from someone's mind. However, if you continuously bring it up, it could become a subject of conversation in future connections with this individual. If you do not act as if the memory is embarrassing or shameful to you, the person might drop it. The longer you replace a negative memory with a positive one, the more the memory may fade. You could match their energy by joking about an external aspect of the environment instead of focusing on yourself. If you do not owe someone an apology, try to make the unpleasant memory less prominent in their mind by changing the focus.įor example, if you accidentally spilled a drink on yourself in public and the individual keeps making jokes about it, ignore the joke and change the subject. Like trying to sway someone's focus on a joyous event, causing them to forget an adverse event may also involve distraction. Getty/AnnaStills How To Cause Someone To Forget A Negative Occurrence You don't have to admit to any details you're uncomfortable sharing. Explain that you are excited but want to keep the specifics to yourself so they can continue enjoying the anticipation. If this is the case, set a boundary by telling the person you're uncomfortable talking about the event, as you want to keep it a surprise. In some cases, the above tactics might not work, and you may struggle to dodge a discussion about a surprise. You could say, "I'm so sorry! I'm underneath a vent, and I am cold. New surroundings may distract from what was being discussed previously, opening the door for you to change the subject. If you are conversing in an open location, walk to another room or area with the person. You can make it seem that their initial suspicions were slightly correct but not wholly, veering them away from the main subject. If you choose a new topic to discuss, pick a minor detail from the other person's statement or question about your surprise and reframe their perspective on your plan. In addition, the individual might not want to discuss the details of your private conversation in front of others. The more people participating in a conversation, the more it may veer off-topic. Include Others In The Conversationīring others into the conversation if you're in a group or a public place. The individual may have forgotten or put the topic off until later. It might be easier to change the subject when the conversation has been paused for a few minutes. When you return, ask an engaging question about a new topic. Take A BreakĮxcuse yourself to go to the restroom or take a break if the individual brings up details about the event or surprise. You can also try the following suggestions. If they bring it up to you, switch topics without making it evident that you are avoiding the subject. Depending on their excitement, the other person may still be thinking about the upcoming date. ![]() Don't write it on a shared calendar, and put away objects related to the occasion. In this case, clear away any visual reminders of the event. For example, perhaps you have planned a surprise, and the person has accidentally encountered some of your plans. While you may not necessarily feel that you have made a mistake, wanting someone to forget a positive event may occur. Match With A Counselor For Support How To Urge Someone To Forget A Positive Event
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